Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Appeal for Creative Guidance From My Writer Friends

It has been several years since I sat down and completed a short story. I am now calling on my friends to assist me in determining which of the below ideas should be at the top of my list. Vote, people! All comments are welcome! (As one might suspect, theft of the below ideas will be addressed with the surest and most brutal strokes of karma).

Faith’s Trailer Park Finishing School
A rural beautician vainly attempts to ameliorate her community’s chronic lack of social refinement.

Anna Marie and the 75MPH School Bus (Sequel to Faith’s Trailer Park Finishing School)
After being fired from a beauty salon in the local trailer park, a West Virginia woman goes berserk and attempts to exact revenge upon the six most prominent residents of the community.

Various Ramifications of the Red Broccoli
In the bowels of an obscure microbiology institute, a genetic engineering experiment goes awry after a forgetful botanist is hired to replace the executive director, yielding a particularly odoriferous incubus that threatens the entire state of Delaware.

Blamestorming With Baxter
Due to a clerical error in Human Resources, a socially awkward database administrator is selected to lead a systematic audit of each of his company’s core functional areas, despite the fact that he is in no way qualified for the task and is, in fact, seen by key employees in each department as a complete buffoon. Will the ship of software float or sink?

The Sinister Minister
Upon arriving at his new assignment in a remote Tennessee village, a deranged man of the cloth suddenly discovers the financial temptations of trafficking moonshine, then twists his pulpit into a vehicle for inciting panic and paranoia upon the confused flock.

Certainly Not Natasha
Two extremes find themselves compressed together in a single office: over the course of three months, a lazy, allergy-prone administrative assistant and her irrational, workaholic boss each devise extreme tactics to have the other sacked.

How Myrtle Blew Up The Nursing Home
An angry geriatric with an IQ of 177 painstakingly orchestrates the spectacular demise of the convalescent home at which she was forcefully disposed.

The Second Adventure of Sticky Vic
The proprietor of a failing fast food franchise decides to bring a taste of Las Vegas to downtown Allentown, and proceeds to import a veritable array of side show performers – along with a particularly eccentric real estate agent.

Zoology for Faunaphobes: A Field Guide
Part I: A detailed survey of the species commonly, yet sometimes unexpectedly, found in proximity of the typical American home, complete with statistical analyses and a comprehensive, historically-accurate listing of serious injuries, parasites, diseases, and death rates associated with each type.

Little Abboud and the Misplaced Sorcerer
On the bustling streets of old Fez, a pick-pocketing urchin with a pronounced stutter accidentally finds himself tied to a genie with a less than competent skill set.

The Vengeance of the Santa
Deeply perturbed that her age, race, sex, national origin, and relatively lean build encumber her ability to serve as the famous sleigh master, Kristina Krumuwala prepares to hijack Valentine’s Day.

The Grand Solo
A compulsively vocal dramatic contralto mistakenly leaves the Metropolitan Opera for a job at the Metropolitan Transit Authority.

1 comment:

Tad Richards said...

I'm torn between Ann Marie and Natasha -- Ann Marie is the surer bet, but Natasha could be wildly funny.